How To Work With Freelancers

Disclaimer: I schedule these posts months in advance, so if we have beef now, we didn’t when I scheduled this.

            Oof, it feels weird to write this one. I mean, it’s not exactly “Throw out their grain every night no later than six. They’re used to me coming home at 5:30 so they’ll get grumpy if they get too hungry.” But there are a whole lotta things I wish I knew before I got thrust into positions of leadership, much less positions where I had to make decisions. Hopefully, I can keep someone else from making the same mistakes, and just for spice, I threw in the habits of some of my least favorite bosses.

            They’re just people, bro. Maybe they’re not available right now because they’re taking the kids to Disney Land! Every people comes with baggage. Sometimes that thing is late because they’re fist fighting a land shark, or more likely, doing something like dealing with a family emergency. Yes, you need the thing, and you need it on time, but you also need empathy and compassion if you want to keep that talent in your corner. Another thing that will help you is to keep track of their time zone, that way you’re not asking for urgent work at their 3am.

            Be clear about what you want. If you want a drawing of a guy, playing a fish shaped banjo, on The Great Wall of China, then you need to tell your freelancer that you want a guy, playing a fish shaped banjo, on The Great Wall of China. Don’t just say “Some person, on a wall, playing some sort of oddly shaped instrument.” that’s hecka up to interpretation. If you’re not clear you could get some lady, sitting on a garden wall, playing a heart shaped guitar. Which, then you will be sad because that is not what you wanted.

            Be clear about when you want it. This one gets tricky for me. I’ve worked on an “as you’re able, and I still have money to pay you” basis, but as the event I needed the work for got closer, it got hairy. You know what it’s like when a person with three feet of hair starts loosing hair from stress? Not fun. And you’ll find it in your food. Don’t do this to me, Joe. Pick a deadline out of the air. Even if it’s “within the next six months” it will help a lot. And if it is “soon”, “soon” is not a real deadline. “By the last day of the month” is. To be honest, I’ve done it to others too. You need solid dates you can nail down on a calendar. It will help you, and the team stay on track.

            Come with a napkin drawing. You remember banjo fish guy? I promise you, if you show up with a stick figure drawn on a greasy napkin, your freelancer will be excited. A really crappy version of what you want is better than no version of what you want. I can tell you from experience, as a free lance social media manger, that it’s a lot easier to adjust a message from a newsletter, and change it to a Facebook post, than to wonder “Is this right? Am I allowed to say that? Is this too edgy? This is what they meant, right?” Because with social media management, you’re often turning three paragraphs into three sentences at most. (Yes, I am taking on new clients. Message me for more information.)

            Stop hovering. Micromanagement drives me batty! Either you come with “I made this [rough sketch of fish banjo guy] but I just need you to clean it up.” or you stop telling them how to do their job. I had a boss that would try to stand over me while I was working on the company newsletter and try to dictate to me like I was a scribe. “Tell them that…” It was very distracting, because often times we weren’t even working on the same place.

            Eventually my patience wore thin and I said “Why don’t you make a draft of what you want to say in your office, then email it to me?”

            I feel I was polite enough, but I believe he got the message because he blushed and said “No thank you. You write in your off time…” then went to his office.

            I had another boss that would physically stand in my way to survey me while I worked on an assembly line, then complain when my productivity went down. Other times, she’d take the work out of my hands, try to show me how to do it, do a much worse job than me because she hadn’t been doing it 100 times every day (I’m not exaggerating) for the past few months, then, once again, act surprised when productivity and quality went down.

            I understand. The people under your employ and the things they produce are a reflection of you. But you hired them because you trust them. If you don’t, why did you hire them?! Admittedly, I have had to go behind people I’ve worked with and make slight adjustments (now everyone I’ve ever worked with is going “Omg, was it me?!”), but it’s a lot better than having to present the world your napkin drawing.

            Don’t say it’s good when it’s not. Sometimes, you shouldn’t make that adjustment yourself. “Can you change the font? That’s a little hard to read.” is completely different than hovering. That “Well, what do you think?” usually means the freelancer showed you work for feedback before finalizing it, and they want your input. It’s completely different from standing over someone while they work!

            “I will certainly take a look at this for you before you finalize it” > “What are you doing now?”

            Get it? The difference is they asked.

            Communicate, communicate, communicate! That’s it. That’s the secret to any relationship. Communicate.

            But you have to watch how you communicate. You also have to learn how they communicate. I ran into that with a boss I friggin’ adored, and accidently made a mess of things. Some people need direct, clear, communication. Some people need a gentler approach my Germanic butt is still learning. Paying attention to how someone needs you to communicate with them is the hardest part, but you’ll learn as you go, and you get to know them.

            Use contracts where you can. Gentleman’s agreements are all well and good. My friends and I are just generally happy to work for each other! But even so, contracts set those healthy boundaries, and give a sense of expectations on to both (or all) parties.

            Throw out their grain every night no later than six. Oh wait. They’re not horses. Don’t do that.

            They are your partners, not your slaves or servants. I’m going to tick off a lot of employers by saying this, however, someone has to say it. You, an employer, hire talent because that person either has a talent you don’t have or because you don’t have enough hands, or hours in the day, to perform that talent. Be it a cover artist, or a ranch hand, you needed them. And you know what? If they’re worth their salt, they’re going to be snapped up by someone else if you mistreat them. They don’t owe you butt kisses. Treat them like a partner; keep them in the loop, communicate with them, tell them what you need and what you expect. You didn’t buy them from some online slave auction, and they can and will leave if you mistreat them. Do not abuse your role in their life. They are not horses.

            Pay them on time. For the love of all that is holy, PAY THEM. I’ve seen more than one friendship ruined over that. Whether it was cash, farm fresh eggs, your first born, or that weird braid on the back of your head you only think no one knows about, you need to pay them what you promised them when you promised it. If life punched you in the jaw, tell them so! “Can you please hang on to this work? I’ve hit a hard time financially, but I hope to pay you within the next three months. Thank you for your time and dedication.”

            Or, alternatively “Hey bro. My mom found The Neck Braid and made me clip it. I need time to grow you another one, but The Neck Braid will live again!”

            And no. You don’t get the work until you pay for it. Don’t let them give it to you either. That’s immoral. No one wants to work for free. If you run off with the work in hand, you’ll forget you haven’t paid them. But you should also give them a general idea of when you think you’ll be able to pay them. Maybe you’ll be paying them a little each month until it’s paid off!

            All in all, just remember they’re people, not horses… Much less robots! And you hired them because they know what they’re doing, but you also need to communicate and tell them what you want. Set up the expectations of your professional relationship, then actually pay them. You’ll be fine. There will be hard days, but that’s the biz, kid.

            Can’t get enough of Helen’s ramblings? Love this blog and wanna help keep it running? Subscribe to Helen’s Patreon to access this content early, and a ton of poetry and short stories! A portion of proceeds go to Helen’s secret neck braid.

Have you got a question you’d like Helen to Answer? Visit my contact page!

I’m Bad About Talking About My Books, Part 1: War and Chess

I’m Bad About Talking About My Books, Part 1: War and Chess

            No, seriously. I’m bad at this. I just kind of forget to mention it in conversation. I’ve ticked off a lot of friends by, them knowing me for months, maybe even years, and them having no idea I wrote and published three books! (Wrote five, but who’s counting? *COUGH*) When I do it online it feels like “U buy buk? [Link to Amazon]“. So here I go. In other words, here’s everything you never wanted to know about War and Chess.

            I wrote War and Chess when I was 14. I wrote it outside of school, and never told people I was working on it. (I love that for baby me! I was hardcore swerving on gifted kid burnout!) The inspiration came from this really weird dream I had, where, ehem, I filled Amethyst’s role. I think there were even wild hogs running around! Which is weird, because that’s not a problem I have, in the region of America, I inhabit.

            Anyway, I loved all things princess. Still do! Although I wasn’t a frilly kind of girl, I was obsessed with the concept of being born with responsibility. It sounded taxing! Anyway, I loved Disney (still do) but at the time, Merida didn’t even exist yet. I was fed up! So when I had this dream about a princess who didn’t need a man (or a boy) to save her I latched on to it.

            I made Princess Amethyst take the driver’s seat in her life, and for her country. I put her on the front lines of a war, and I gave her a clever brain and a quick wit to solve the awful mystery, and to sass everyone within earshot. She talks like a real fourteen year old, because I was really a fourteen year old. I tried hard to keep that through the years. Both in the 2016 first edition, and the 2021 reprint.

            But I think I’m getting a little ahead of myself, as I haven’t even laid out the plot yet. Fourteen year old Princess Amethyst lives in her own little world as a spoiled princess, until one day the neighboring country attacks unprovoked. Even though she’s just a young teenager, she takes it upon herself to figure out why and put a stop to it. She even learns to use a sword, and like a total Mary Sue she gets good at it! Hehe.

            Spoiler alert: I’m going to relegate spoilers to this paragraph. I assume most of the people who are reading this post have read the book. But just in case! Princess Amethyst finds that the king of the neighboring country, attacks her country because he’s afraid to die without a legacy. Which is creepy the 2021 reprint came out in December in time for me to go on tour in March of 2022. It was eerie selling a book that mirrored world events. I didn’t think people like King Haylend honestly existed, but there Putin is proving me right, unfortunately. My heart breaks for Ukraine. Spoiler end.

            War and Chess does have a strong “war is ugly” message underneath. Military recruiters tend to hit impoverished communities harder. Impoverished communities like the one I grew up in. If you’re a poor white kid with seven brothers and sisters living on a ranch, your options are kind of limited. Many of my friends and neighbors have joined various branches of the military to pay for college so they can escape poverty. Going forward, please keep in mind I do not have a problem with the soldiers serving our country, I have a problem with the system that makes it impossible to escape poverty, unless you agree to participate in harming another and put yourself in harm’s way, or you take on massive amounts of debt instead. My father used to watch war documentaries in front of me as a kid, and I think that had a profound effect on me. I’d come home from school and learn about WWI. I learned lessons from the lips of little old men that still ring in the back of my head. Lessons about how hatred will destroy you, and the real value of art. Three potatoes. You can eat, and still be hungry, or you can have a piece of art and still be hungry. When we turned 18, my best friend and I both got calls from our parents’ home phones from recruiters. I had the sheer audacity to tell them “I’m sorry, I’m a pacifist.” although, I had been in countless school yard fights– My mother who had been eavesdropping laughed for hours… I personally think my best friend’s response was funnier. She told them “You’d have to send me to fat camp.”

            “W-what?”

            “Yeah, no. I’m way too chubby. You’d have to send me to fat camp. I don’t mind enlisting, it’s just going to take me longer to do the job.”

            The recruiter got out of that conversation pretty quickly.

            Anyway, I wrote War and Chess, in part, because I was already sick of war.

            It took me five years to get the thing published. I bought sparkling grape juice, and danced around my first apartment. I was so poor I freaked out about the five cent discrepancy between the listed price, and the actual sale price of my juice. I couldn’t believe it was really happening finally!

            It took another five years to find a home for Tales from the Gishlan Wood and it’s out of print predecessor War and Chess. The story of tales is for another time, but I wanted things like matching cover art, and to find a better line editor than the first edition had (*cough* probably only me.), and to be able to say “Here is a budding series.” to my new readers, and “Thank you so much for waiting” to the ones who stuck with me. I was grateful Drakarium Publishing did that thing I’ve been telling you all for years will never happen, and found me. Grant, the owner of the publisher, and his children had read War and Chess and loved it. I hecking love Grant! Match made in business heaven!

            So after living by myself in Gishlan for eleven years, I am proud to finally invite you all inside my imaginary world where farmers become knights, princes become wondering vagabonds, mermaids have green hair and dark skin, centaurs go to bars with fairies, and we’re all obsessed with cute kitties, and choose violence.

            All joking aside, I do try to content warning these books well. I started writing this series as a teenager, because it was something, I, as a teenager, wanted to read. I did not intend these to be books for children under 13. There is graphic violence, mentions of sex (because a  loving and consensual relationship is where I draw the line!), death, pregnancy, child loss, suicide, murder, violence, violence, organized crime, and everyone swears in Gishlaner. So if I haven’t frightened you off, check out my book from your local library, or buy it on Amazon.

Write. You’ll Feel Better.

            I have been in the midst of a weird dry spell, and I don’t know how long it’s been, but it’s not quite letting up. I call it “writer’s block”, but instead of not knowing where to take whatever story I’m working on next, I just don’t have the motivation to write. And that’s scary. I can’t remember feeling this way, ever.

            It’s complete apathy! I’ve been writing since I was four. I don’t not write. I remember hearing about girls who the Taliban would kidnap and torment because they were literate, as a kid. I wrote for them too, because they couldn’t. I started collecting old books–each over 100 years old, as a teenager, and I remember how angry I felt when I realize how few were A) Written by women, and B) Written by women under a masculine pen name. I wrote for them too because they couldn’t get published. I chose to be “Helen M. Pugsley” because I was going to use a feminine name, by thunder! Now I’ve lost my Your Quote streak, I’ve got a pile of sticky notes holding ideas for future blog posts under the calculator on my desk, I’ve got submission calls rotting away in my inbox, and a notebook full of loosey goosey poetry, because I don’t feel like doing anything but
Calling
This
Steam of
Consciousness
Poetry.

It sickens me.

            And you know what else? I tried writing the next book of the Gishlan series one day in The Night Heron but I completely forgot I write in first person POV, and wrote the first pages in third person, omnipotent! I was so ticked off! However, even when you feel like me, you gotta keep going.

            I read a decent bit of advice on Instagram, about writing. “If you don’t use a facet for a while it’s going to spit out a bit of muck when you first turn it on.” I’ve stayed in so many out-of-the-way places I now have this quirky habit of letting a facet run for a minutes before I use it in a new place! As far as I can tell, the person who said that is completely right.

            Bruh, make yourself write. Write absolute crap! Write some silly fan fic about your OC and Captain Jack Sparrow smooching on the back of a whale! Throw it up on Wattpad so people can laugh with you!

Write the
Bad
Poetry
That
Reads
Like
This.

Write because you can’t make yourself care about writing anymore! Write Tik Tok scripts because you’re camera shy! Add adjectives to your grocery list because you can! Write the first pages of your friend’s thesis and then email it to them to make them mad! (Hehehe, I don’t recommend that, actually.) Write from the weird prompt book someone gave you for Christmas 20 years ago! Just write! Shake the dust off!

            And I think I can promise you, once you do you’ll feel a lot better than apathetic. You’ll have that bliss that comes with making something, even if it is an ugly bastard. You literally don’t have to show it to anyone. Chill. Write, simply because you can! Make some weird crap because no one can stop you. And just think of how proud your ancestors who never learned to write, because they were farmers and they didn’t need to, would be of you! Write because the cat keeps yelling at you to take him for a walk, but fuzz butt doesn’t run your life! He can wait! (Seriously, he wants to go get the mail with me and I am in my pajamas.) Write because you are an unstoppable force of sheer chaos and nobody owns you! Just write, and make yourself feel better.

Would you like to give me false hope of making a profit from writing? Visit my Patreon! (Following is free 🙂 )

How To Put Together A Publicity Kit

            It is a rare day where I teach you how to manage your social media accounts. It makes me grumpy because I do it professionally and your mechanic isn’t going to let you in the back to show you how to cobble together your engine for another six months. I like to work on boosting a business’ audience numbers, not teach. So please, I’m begging you, listen to me, Linda. Listen, Linda! Listen!

            You need a publicity kit. You probably already have one and haven’t called it that yet. A publicity kit is a grouping of photos and information, such as a generic explanation of your project. You jam it all in one little neat place so you can send it to people you’re working with (the press, a venue for a book signing, your publishing house, etc.) when they request media.

            What goes into a press kit? Professionally done photos of you (*cough* or just professional looking photos of you), super aesthetic photos of your book [or product] on the town. I’m talking Instagram worthy! Your book’s blurb (or your product’s/service’s explanation), any disclaimer and/or credits to funding. For example, I got a grant from the Wyoming Arts Council to do book signings so I have to put “This event is supported in part by a grant from the Wyoming Arts Council, with support from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Wyoming Legislature and the national endowment for the arts” in advertisements for my book signings, and their logo. Don’t forget the your author photo. The one you put in the back of your book.

            You’re probably looking at this list and saying “But Helen, I have all of these!” I’m sure you do, pal! But do you have them where you can get to them at a moment’s notice, neat and tidy, easy for someone else to navigate? That’s what I’m saying!

            “Okay, Helen. I’m picking up what you’re putting down. Where do I group the items for the ritual?” Weird phrasing, but whatever floats your goat, man. If I were you I’d put it into a Google Doc, that way you can access that information off of any device you can access your Google account. (And they say monopolies are a bad thing!) Personally, I have a page on my website, that you can only reach when I give you the link. It is password protected, but once you’re in you’re in. It’s not sensitive information! Just, not everyone needs it! So because I’m hosted by WordPress I have two neat columns of pictures, my book blurbs, the two versions of my bio (long and short), and a ton of professional promotional material. I also credited every artist because if someone I’m working with goes “Wow, this is really nice. Wonder what Helen’s small army of freelancers could do for me?” They don’t actually have to remember to ask me for their contact information. Their website is linked right there, and my friends can keep doing what they love for money, rather than working 60 hours a week at three jobs, with no time to work for meeeeeeeeeee. It’s a courtesy, but it’s a nice thing to do. Honestly, any file you can attach to an email will do. (Like a doc!) If we’re working on a project together, and you slap a manila file down on my desk, and say “Here’s my press kit!” I’m going to have a hard time not throat chopping you. This is the digital age, we have the technology! And you can make some cool stuff digitally now. Unfortunately, computer work isn’t much like the movies. It’s much less aesthetic, and a lot more murmuring “Now where did I save that file to?”

            My broski, I can tell you from two experiences it is better to be over prepared than underprepared. The first example was when I was working with this ridiculously nice and professional gent on a collaborative project. He asked to be hyped on social media, I asked him for his promotional materials. He tells me “I don’t really have any but you can pull what you need off this email.” whiiiiich is how you get super grainy JPGs. Which is how you either get roasted with “*Tag group* What has this JPG been through?” on Facebook, or worst case scenario get ignored entirely. I wound up lightly doctoring a screenshot I got of his website. Wasn’t thrilled about it, but I got something passable. He also suggested I use my book’s cover like his team does. Thing is though, my followers have seen that cover so many times they ignore it now. My followers have never seen his branding, and his followers have never seen my cover. The whole goal is to make someone go “OwO What’s this?” *Shudders*

            The second example is my own dumb-buttery! I know, we all thought I was perfect but I’m not. The paper asked me for an interview. I happily obliged! It was especially fantastic because I got to do it over the phone, after work on the ranch, and I was covered head to toe in dirt but it didn’t matter a lick. Well, at the end of the interview the reporter goes “Can we get some photos of you and your book?”

            “Uuuh, certainly. I’m just not sure I have any yet.”

            “Uh, okay. If you could get them by four o’ clock, that’d be greaaaat.”

            The moral of this story is if you do not want to run around a park in a too short skirt at 3pm, taking selfies, then think of things like this before you need them. (There’s a really great one of me looking personally offended at a bridge I touched with my bare skin and burnt way high up on my thighs.) This is the one that made the paper.

Thank you, Lauren Brant

            Preparedness is your friend. Set it down next to organization. You’re going to make your own life a lot easier. Especially since we all have to work day jobs since the arts pay trash, and there’s no healthcare plan. (Okay, tbh, Patreon covers my eye and dental! Haha!) You can get a lot of things done a lot faster when you already thought about what a potential business partner is going to need from you.

            If you enjoyed this blog post and want to support the making of them, throw all your money at me on Patreon. I believe information should be free and easy to access so, I am very passionate about keeping this blog free. However, the fees for running this website do add up. And I do enjoy my luxury bones, let’s be honest! For a small subscription fee that will be put towards this website, and keeping me alive, you will be able to access loads of short stories, new poems weekly, and these blog posts a week earlier than everyone else! This is a stick-up, just kidding. You can follow my public posts for free there too.

Enjoy the Best, Attend the Movies

            “Enjoy the best, attend the movies” was painted on the side of Torrington’s historic Wyoming Theater. (Check out this article about our beloved theatre.) I saw it every day on my way to work for years. Pretty rad old tymie sign if you ask me. So Helen, why are we talking about movies? I thought we were book people! As a whole, we are entertainment people. We work in the entertainment industry. Books are entertaining. Which is why I can relate to “The Way I Am” by Eminem so hard.

            During the first part of the ongoing apocalypse I found my solace in movies. I mean, I was unemployed and my friends were dead. Watching five movies or more a day was pretty common for someone in that situation before Covid. I promise, Covid didn’t help any. I didn’t just watch movies, I consumed them. I got online, made memes with the screencaps, which, when a bunch of people did it all at once it attracted the attention of the creators. I chatted up writers, directors, voice actors, animators, the intern at the studio, anyone who would talk to me about my favorite movies. We were all trapped inside. It was nice to comfort each other. Bruh, I know way too much about Swan Princess. (I like animation. Bite me.)

            Watching all these movies from the Goodwill pile changed the way I saw the world. I learned to add Hollywood flair to my work. Like, I learned about how sometimes cinematic creators will use a particular color to portray a mood, or as a symbol. For instance, one of my friends pointed out that Carmen Sandiego (the new series remake. Haven’t seen it.) is about to win a fight when the background is red.  But when the background is blue we need to worry for Carmen. She’s vulnerable. She’s outmatched. She’s in trouble! Red is a warm color, and blue is a cold color. When you feel on top of the world you feel like, well, “hot stuff”, when you feel sad you, you have “the blues”. It’s things like that I started seeing and noticing when you watch a crudton of movies and then go discuss them with your friends.

            I feel like it gave me a subtle streak. If you’ve ever met me in person you know subtle is not my middle name. I’m a big girl, who wears boots everywhere, and because I came from a community populated by German and Russian immigrants I am extremely direct and generally speak my mind. Subtle doesn’t come naturally to me! I play trumpet! You ever hear a trumpet try to play subtly? Anyway, because I’ve had a visual on beautiful storytelling, I feel like I’m more equip to sneak in these odd little details.

            Like foreshadowing! Foreshadowing is done best when it’s not clapping your audience in the face. Like, foreshadowing would be watching the king fall asleep on the throne and his crown slips off, a few chapters before the crown is taken from him by a foreign power. Even though he knew the threat was there, he chose not to do anything until it was too late. Not subtle would be me watching you and your girlfriend of one month have a white trash screaming match in a Walmart parking lot. Then when you walk by I would whisper “Foreshadowing“. The only thing it would be foreshadowing would be a miserable romantic relationship, and the loss of our friendship because sometimes I’m neither funny or helpful.

            Dude, all I’m saying is don’t be afraid to study movies. They’re just visual story telling. We do stories here. Learning new techniques isn’t plagiarism. Sometimes it’s easier to consume because the director knows you haven’t showered in four days, are no longer capable of sentient thought, and are surviving on cheese puffs. They literally just spoon feed you a good yarn. It’s great. Go embrace the movie magic, fambilam.

Enjoying this content? Want it to stay free? Slip me a five spot on Patreon!

Available Now!


All three of Helen M. Pugsley’s published works are available on Amazon.

Check Oblivious Luminescence for signed copies!

Read for free with Kindle Unlimited.

Do You Need to be a Reader to be a Writer?

            Do you need to be a reader to be a writer? I don’t actually know! I’ve never not been a reader. I do know every human being and the face of the planet has a story to tell. Frankly, I see a direct correlation between poverty and the inability to access reading material or education. Whoever, this blog isn’t about why you shouldn’t condescend to people who have less than you. Obviously, you’re reading. I assume, logically, you are a reader. What I do not know is being a reader is a job requirement to being a writer, I do know the benefits.

            1. You need to know the book industry.

            You need to know the current market trends. Books about covid are out, Publishers scrambling to gain footing in the industry again. I see a lot of YA fantasy going out on the shelves. You, as a writer, need to be able to identify when the appropriate time for your novel to make its debut. And that is whether or not you’re planning on self-publishing or traditional publishing. Often times by reading you will find publishing houses that produce the similar works to yours. You need to subscribe to the newsletters, follow presses on Instagram, and learn as much as you possibly can about your chosen industry.

            2. You will learn what is and isn’t appropriate for your readers by reading.

            There are particular things that audiences of different genres of fiction will not tolerate. As an example, I love children’s literature. I love picture books! However, while I still had my subscription to Kindle unlimited I had to quit reading self-published children’s books. Some of the books I encountered were just downright grotesque. There are set rules in every genre, but children’s literature has the most. The goal is to educate children, not traumatize them. Which is why traditionally published children’s books have so many stringent rules. By reading books from your chosen genre, whether it is children’s literature, fantasy, Si-fi, LGBT+, fiction, Western, nonfiction, or romance– by reading you will learn the unspoken rules.

            3. You will Anglish gooder.

            Why yes, reading will improve your grammar, spelling, vocabulary, diction, and in general make you Anglish gooder. If you’re like me, and I like to pretend I’m a special snowflake, you’re a redneck who does actually talk that way (“gooder anglish”) when they get really tired. Obviously I had to learn to code switch from somewhere. Part of it can be credited with books. (I did go to school, I do watch movies, and listen to the radio, etc.) There’s a certain something about seeing words on a page that helps you make words on a page, and that’s important too.

            Listen, books are much more accessible than that were 20 years ago. 100 years ago! In the 1800’s when they were institutionalizing women for “novel reading”! Most of my friends that experience homelessness from time to time have an android phone. There are multiple apps for reading. In fact, I use an app from the State Library to listen to audiobooks while I clean hotel rooms for a living. I love the fact that audiobooks have made reading more accessible to people who have visual impairments, and to people who have trouble processing information visually. Now if you have a pair of headphones and a phone you can read! It’s amazing! And even if you are missing the WiFi to download books, the library can help you there too.

            Some people just don’t enjoy reading. And that’s fine! If you just want to write your book, put it out there, and be done with it, go ahead don’t worry about reading. I do believe that if you want to be serious about your career in writing you need to read. If rolling up your sleeves and getting serious about a career in entertainment isn’t in the cards for you right now because you’re just trying to survive the winter, then don’t feel guilty! Sometimes survival is doing your best. If you don’t have time to read right now I’m not going to shame you for it. You’re allowed to be a hobbyist. I think being a reader will greatly advance your writing career, but I do not know if it hinges upon it.

If you’ve been enjoying these blog posts, and want to help me make sure I can keep this website up and running consider subscribing to my Patreon. You’ll enjoy all these posts a week early, as well as weekly poems, and random life updates! Or just follow me there for the free junk too. IDK your life.

Survival Mode Will Drain Your Creativity

            Why hello there! Not only am I still in survival mode, but my fingers are wooden from the cold, and my eyes are going crossed because I am so exhausted from this past week of work. By the time you read this (because keep in mind I write these a few months in advance) hopefully things will be better for me.

            I just moved to a new city, new apartment, and new job because I couldn’t find a job in my home town that paid a living wage. Let me tell you, this move took a lot out of me physically and emotionally. Not to mention Covid is still hanging around and I have to think about “Is this gas station safe to go inside? Am I going to expose the people who were kind enough to help move me?” Because I switched homes, I didn’t abandon my people. They’re stuck with me. Lately, I’ve been simply working on how to get the next thing I need. How do I get clean clothes to go to my new job with? How do I get to my job if my car just broke down again? How do I pay for gas to get to this stinkin’ job? Can I turn the heat up in here or is it going to break the bank? My air mattress sprung a leak. Do you think packing tape will work to fix it? All the questions like that press in on you until you’re so drained from just trying to stay somewhat okay, you realize it’s been days since you’ve actually written a scratch. Or painted… I mean, this is a blog about writing but you do you boo boo. You could be beating yourself up about not playing the flugelhorn right now. I don’t know your life.

            I know you’re used to Auntie Helen’s German butt bullying you to greatness but: SURPRISE! It’s okay. It’s okay if all you do for a period of time is survive. Like, bruh, how you gunna write if you don’t figure out how you’re going to eat today? It’s okay. No, really, it’s okay.

            Like, did we not learn this in Covid? You know, the part where we were all under quarantine and were too depressed and frightened to function? Now we eat fear for breakfast! *Throws glitter* Not really. But, I’m sure you get the point I’m trying to make even though I can’t see it because my eyes keep crossing.

            Survival mode will drain your creativity. Just like in Minecraft. Ya know, the zombies try to eat your face so you can’t put 60 cakes in your inventory, or however this game works. Idk, the young friends I play with would probably laugh at me. Some of us just want to build sprawling panda ranches and golden castles! Which, ehem, since life is not Minecraft, that’s not an option in real life. Bruh, you gotta work your butt off to keep the lights on and the roof over your head. I’m not going to shame you for needing to work 60 some odd hours a week! You’re allowed to be tired! You’re allowed to be frightened. You’re even allowed to work 20, say “I have nothing left to give” then collapse in a heap. Or even “My chronic illness is spanking my buns right now and I’m just going to curl into a little ball for a few years until I feel better.” and work 0 hours. Like, being in pain takes a crap-ton of energy.

            No one comes to this blog for coddling, but this time you’re getting it. Sometimes life just punches you in the teeth like a grand symphony of violence, and you’re left reeling. It’s okay if you don’t have the juice for your… Uh, flugelhorn, I guess. Sometimes surviving is enough and you definitely need to quit beating yourself up for it.

Are you rapt with concern for Helen’s well being now? Actually hate their guts and want to stalk Helen harder? Subscribe to their Only Fans Patreon! For just tree fiddy ($3.50) a month you can learn all their dark secrets they keep on the internet! Plus, see these blog posts a week earlier! Be a cool kid. Give away all your money.

Both War and Chess and Tales from the Gishlan Wood Are Available

Both War and Chess (the reprint) and Tales from the Gishlan Wood are available for purchase on Amazon because of Drakarium Publishing.

I am excited for these books to reach the hands of readers, finally, and so grateful for everyone who put their blood, sweat, and tears to get them here. These two books couldn’t have happened without the help of artists, editors, Drakarium Publishing, my Patreons, and an entire community of people who just generally like me! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.