Hey, we’ve all had it right? That one woman runs up to you when you’re in a dark room, standing under a single spotlight and tells you she’s one of your [great, great, great, great,] grandmothers, or that she used to live in your house. Or even that one old dude in the old tymie clothing strolls up and informs you you’re “quite the fetching young lady.” and he’d “like to show you the town”. It’s cool at first, and then they want something!
They see you’re a writer, so they want you to finish the handwritten manuscript hidden in the beams of the attic. Or that you’re a writer and you’re dirt poor, so now your weird little old man is all worried about you, and he vehemently wants you to invest in the railroad. Even though you’ve told him a million times, we harvested all the coal, and now we need to look to renewable energy, before we’re really boned! Grandma wants you to find her son’s grave and tell him she’s sorry! You know, that’s none of your business! You didn’t ask to be in the middle of this family drama!
Well I’m writing this blog post to tell you, that you do not have to listen to the ghosts that keep invading your dreams! This is your life, mother licker! They had theirs! They’re not going to experience character development! They’re dead! You do what you wanna do! You write what you wanna write! You show the town who you wanna show the town to! Make a whole PowerPoint about that place! You invest in solar energy! Or wind energy! I don’t know your life! Run around, claiming you’re an airbender for all I care.
But Helen, I can’t dull my extra senses enough to not have this keep happening! Well first off, your English sucks. That’s a double negative. It should be “I can’t dull my extra senses enough to keep this from happening.” Second, have you tried telling them to get riggedy riggedy wrecked? Legit. You can just tell them to scramblam, fambillam. Shoo those suckers straight out of your dreams. Like, literally. If you tell them to get lost, they have to. Them’s the ghost rules.
Don’t let yourself be tormented by specters. Set some boundaries!
April fools. J
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Helen M. Pugsley 